Pictures of Life
by BlackBear53
Summary: Deeks is called back for an undercover op with the LAPD. Kensi receives a letter and a picture from him at the very beginning. How does she cope with him being away. Thank you Shane Brennan for giving us wonderful characters to build on and to love. If you know them their not mine. (Rats.)


**Early Morning**

The phone rang at four in the morning and jolted Kensi Blye from a sound sleep. As she groggily answered she mumbled into the mouthpiece. "Hello, it's Kensi."

A voice that she hadn't expected spoke to her. "Miss Blye, it's Lieutenant Bates. I'm calling in regards to Detective Deeks."

That sentence woke her completely. "Has something happened to him? Is he alright?"

The lieutenant knew right then and there that there was more between Deeks and Blye than should be between partners but she didn't work for him and he couldn't reprimand them for it. That would have to be the little ninja's job and he didn't envy her that. "Nothing has happened to him and for the time being he's alright. I'm calling to tell you that he's been called back to LAPD for an extended undercover mission. It is not known how long he'll be under. He wanted me to call you and tell you. He would've done it himself but time wouldn't allow it. Let me know if you need anything. He also said to tell you that Hetty has a letter for you."

Kensi felt gut punched. She'd known it was a distant possibility but since it hadn't happened in years she'd assumed it wouldn't ever happen again. "Thanks for letting me know."

Bates felt like he needed to watch over her for Deeks. "If you need anything, and I mean anything, you let me know. I understand that your boss takes good care of her people but Deeks is mine. I'll call in a few days, alright?"

"Yes. It will be fine. Thank you Lieutenant. I'll see Hetty in the morning." She held back a sob, but just. "Just make sure he's, okay? Good night." She hung up but carried a sense of dread for her partner, friend and if truth be told, lover. She probably wouldn't be able to sleep any more but went back to bed to snuggle on his side of the bed. Later today she'd pick up Monty and bring him here to stay with her. At least she'd have that part of Deek's life with her.

Last night the two of them had brought home burgers and beer and watched Titanic for the millionth time. Kensi had lost count of the times she'd seen that movie. It would always be her favorite and Deeks, the good sport that he is, sat with her for the nth time and held her as she cried when Jack slips away from Rose to his icy grave. He only left at one, so he'd been called on his way home.

Realizing that no sleep would be coming, Kensi rose and went to the kitchen and dug into the half-gallon of Rocky Road ice cream. Ice cream always seemed to soothe her. She'd go into the office early and talk to Hetty.

 **Early that Morning at the Mission:**

Kensi arrived at the Mission before seven and stepped out of the car. Before she went around to release Monty from the back seat she looked at the beautiful day unfolding around her. Before Deeks, she never noticed it. She never saw sunrises like the gift they are, but she knew that Deeks did and if he'd been free he'd be out on the water right now, with or without her because to him there is no better place to be. Maybe tomorrow she'd go.

She opened the back door to her Cadillac and let the scruffy mutt that both of them loved out. He'd be spending the days with her at work. Kensi wanted the connection to her scruffy partner that Monty gave her. He climbed out of the car and shook before looking up at her. "Come on Monty, let's go see Hetty." Monty yipped once and headed for the door. He knew where the treats were kept.

The door opened into an empty bullpen. Most of the people who worked at the Mission weren't in yet but Kensi knew that Hetty Lange arrived early and stayed late. She left her bag and Monty by her desk with a treat that Deeks kept in his desk.

She waited just outside Hetty's office until she was motioned in. You never just barged into her office space. "Morning Hetty."

Hetty smiled at the young woman and hoped it would help but by looking deeper into Miss Blye's face she knew it wouldn't. Etched into her agent's face were worry, pain and concern. "Good morning Miss Blye, have a seat and we can have a moment to ourselves before the day starts. Could I invite you to a cup of tea?" When her agent shook her head no she reached into the middle drawer of her desk and took out a white envelope with Kensi's name on it. "Mr. Deeks dropped this off at Dovecote early this morning. It seems LAPD has called him back to a case he'd thought was long dead. He wanted to make sure that you got this. He also wanted me to tell you, let me make sure I've got this right, _'I'm not Jack, Rose, I'll be back.'_ Did I get it right?"

Kensi fingered the envelope and wanted so badly to be alone to read it. A smile came to her lips as she heard his message to her. "Yes Hetty you did. Thank you."

Hetty worried about Kensi. This undetermined time span would eat her up. She's a woman who needed concise timing and not knowing when you'll hear from your partner created problems for her. She'd have to keep a close eye on her. "Go read your letter. Where's my friend Monty?"

Kensi got up to find a private place; Nate's office space would work. She called out to the scruffy mutt. "Monty, come here boy." She heard the pitter-pattering of his paws and knew he'd go straight to the diminutive woman behind the desk.

As Monty came to Hetty she turned to Kensi and shooed her away.

Kensi was only too eager to go. She made her way up the staircase to Nate's office. She sat in his chair and felt Nate's nurturing soul reach out to her. She'd probably need him if anything happened to Deeks. She stopped just short of opening the letter to savor the idea that he'd written to her. He'd never done that before. Kensi took Nate's letter opener and sliced open the envelope. Out of the envelope, fell a picture of Deeks. She had no idea where it had been taken or by whom, but it showed Shaggy with his million dollar smile and his Viking locks, as he called them, at some beach. It made her smile but also caught her breath before she started tearing up. There was also a smaller version buried inside the letter. She wondered why he'd added that, but that was the mystery of her partner. There always seemed to be a reason for everything he did.

She took a moment to gather her wits and emotions before taking the letter from the envelope.

Dear Kensi,

I'm hoping that Lieutenant Bates called you and you're not getting this out of the blue.

I never thought I'd be back undercover with LAPD again but this case started long ago, long before NCIS or us. I'm sorry this happened but I need to finish it. Another detective and I worked this trafficking case and the trail went stone cold. Three days ago it came alive and RJ and I were called in to finish it up. It is the one case that got away from us. It could take two days, two weeks or possibly two months. We just don't know. I'll be home as soon as I can.

Kensi, I'm not Jack Simon, your dad, Dom or any of the other men in your life who left you behind. I promised I'd never do that willingly and I won't. I have every intention of coming home to you.

Until this morning when I got the call, I knew I loved you, just not how much. Now I do and when I get home we're talking about a life together. I want that very much and little ninja assassins too! Are you smiling at that idea? I hope so.

You won't see me but I'll be around. Keep the picture close to you, in your purse, your shirt pocket or the pocket of your jeans. I want you to feel like I'm there with you.

I love you Kensi Marie Blye,

Marty

Kensi sat in the loving embrace of Nate's chair and savored the message of the letter and the incredible joy that his words gave her. Reality hit her then. Deeks wasn't going to be around to celebrate those feelings and it brought tears to her eyes. Kensi shook her head. What was she doing? She's Wonder Woman or Bad Ass Blye according to Deeks and would they cry? Absolutely not! She took the photo and put it into her back pocket. He felt close to her like he was watching her back or backside like he always had, but she didn't care. Kensi rose and went downstairs to the bullpen to wait for Callen and Sam. They needed to be brought up to date on her partner.

 **Later that Morning:**

Kensi had gone back to her desk and began rifling through old files that needed to be put away and some that needed another look to see if there might be a lead in it. Most were dead ends and the crime would never be solved. Monty had come back and was asleep at her feet under the desk. Kensi reached into her file drawer to put a file away and found a bakery bag. She was pretty sure she knew who and how but when was the serious question? Inside the bag were her favorite donuts. A note was laid next to the bag and the handwriting was so familiar. "Hey Fern, here are two donuts to stave off that cranky bear you can be. Try to be gentle with your co-workers today. Love ya, Max."

Just as she opened the bag Callen came through the door. "You're here real early." He looked around for her partner. "You and Deeks have a fight, decide to drive alone, or did you finally kill him?"

Sam walked in just as he finished his question. "I can't wait to hear the answer to that." He glanced about the bullpen and into Hetty's office. "So where is Mr. Fluffy, out surfing?"

Kensi smiled at the two men she called brothers. "You are both very funny this morning. No, I didn't kill him, we didn't fight and we hate driving alone. He got called back to LAPD for an undercover operation that predates NCIS. We're not sure how long he'll be gone."

Callen looked to his partner and Sam returned the look. Both men were concerned as to where this would take the woman in front of them. She'd come so far trusting in her relationship with Deeks. Callen was worried because she seemed to be taking this in stride. Where Deeks was concerned she didn't usually do 'in stride' well. If there was anything askew with them she freaked out. To see her like this bothered him. Their relationship wasn't new and no one was supposed to know about them, but Sam and he did and were pretty sure that Hetty knew as well. It wasn't exactly forbidden but it did make for unusual dynamics in a partnership. They'd been partners for four years before the emotions came fully into play. Sam had been sure of that when they went to Afghanistan to bring her home. That is why he left him behind with the old cleric. If they'd found Kensi's body they would have had two body bags to take home and Sam had wanted to avoid that.

Callen wanted to know what had been planned in his absence. "So what are you doing until the fluffy one comes back? Are we getting a sub or are we riding together?"

Hetty chose that moment to make her appearance. "You'll all be riding together until we know if Mr. Deeks will come back soon and if that is not the case then we'll look at a substitute agent. No new cases yet today, dead files gentlemen and lady, dead files."

Both men groaned. They were the active types and didn't like sitting around going through files. They went to their desks and started their day.

Kensi looked across the aisle at the desk next to Sam. She already missed him but his empty desk seemed dark and ominous to her. She went to get a coffee and being in that part of the building made her think about Deeks and the blender that he'd brought in to make smoothies. She and Nell had made him one using all the parts of the fruits and had nearly choked him to death. It tickled her funny bone back then, not so much now. As far as Kensi was concerned there was no one there to watch Deeks back and that scared her. No one at LAPD would do what she has done for him. Not just watching his back but giving him their trust. She trusted him to keep her safe and vice versa. They also have a friendship which no one at LAPD ever gave him. Maybe he'd pushed them away like she'd done for so many years and now that she had let him in it was easier to let others in to become friends. Look at Talia, she'd become one of Kensi's good friends because she knew what Kensi did on a daily basis and she'd befriended Deeks just because he's likeable. She knew how dangerous the job could be. She walked back to her desk and grabbed one of the donuts from the bag. It made all the work ahead of her easier somehow.

 **Home that Night:**

Because they worked on files all day without complaining, too much, Hetty took pity on them and sent them home early. Sam bolted out the door to go home and work on some project he'd started over the last weekend and to play guitar with Kamran. Callen ambled out the door to his car with Kensi. He was going home to his family. He'd fought hard for his wife and oldest daughter and now there were twins that Marty and she played with on the weekend. Maybe she'd go over with Monty tomorrow.

She drove home and stopped for Mexican food for dinner. She thought about learning to cook, Deeks had tried to teach her to no avail. Perhaps it had been the proximity to him that stifled the urge to cook. Nell had said she'd teach her she'd ask her Monday.

Monty beat her to the kitchen where she placed the food on the counter. He knew that his food was in the left bottom cabinet and that he was hungry. It's hard work being an NCIS dog. "Come on Monty, let's get your dinner and then I'll get your bed out of the car. What do you want to watch on TV? Oh my god, I sound just like Deeks. I'm talking to a dog. See what you've done to me Shaggy?"

Monty was happily scarfing up his doggy food and water and Kensi happy sat at the counter and ate her burritos with a bottle of beer she'd taken from the fridge. After dinner she moved to the living room but tonight it seemed empty. Friday nights were usually America's Top Model night with Deeks but for some reason she didn't turn on the TV. The silence felt good to her. It was time to veg out and not think about the world, her job, bills or anything else except her partner. She pulled the letter from her bag and the picture from her pocket. It already had creases in it from being sat on. She rose and went to the closet. There were frames in there somewhere, but 'where' was the operative question. She started taking items from the shelf and realizing that some hadn't been opened since she moved in made her make a choice. Back into the kitchen she went and when she returned she had the trash basket with her and a roll of plastic bags.

She spent the evening going through boxes of memories, some good and some not so good. The not so good ones were thrown away. She found the frames eventually but still continued with the purging of the closet. When she finished with the closet she felt better about it. Picking through her past in the closet made her look at who she'd become and how proud she was of it. Maybe Marty is right about the hoarding after all. This felt good, so tomorrow night the bedroom closet would be cleaned. She turned to look at the pile of stuff that was going and she actually surprised herself. Three garbage bags of 'stuff' and another of clothing that hadn't been worn in years. She hauled the trash out and never looked back at it.

When she came back in she looked at the clock and it said twelve-thirty. "Wow, where did that night go? Yo, Monty time for bed." Monty, who'd been napping in his doggy bed, came running to her room and jumped on the bed. Kensi snuggled him and went to bed, tired but happy. She'd made a little progress tonight and not only in the closet.

 **The Next Few Weeks:**

Work was work. They were a man down for two weeks and Hetty brought in a temporary agent, Mitchell Long. Kensi knew he'd be a capable agent, just not Deeks. They worked together quite well but something didn't quite click.

Callen saw her reticence for a new partner and took her aside. "Kens, you okay here? I know he's not Deeks but we've got work to do."

Kensi knew she wanted her partner back but it couldn't happen. "It still getting used to him. I'll do it but it might take a while. Let's get to work."

The next week or so she spent getting to know Mitch. He's a nice enough guy but his sense of humor needed some work and it was driving her crazy. She kept seeing a shaggy blond beach boy who told the worst jokes.

The crimes kept coming and so did the backlog of paper that comes with the job.

Callen and Sam kept their eyes on her and Mitch. The first sign of trouble and he'd be gone.

Kensi would go home at night switch on the television but not watch much. American Top Model was still on but she hadn't seen it in weeks. She began to have Nell over three nights a week to teach her to cook and they went shopping together to pick up ingredients for some simple dishes. Kensi had learned to make pasta sauce in about a week. She even tried it on the weekend without Nell and it had tasted delicious. She began to see what she'd been missing all those years. Shaggy would be surprised.

On this particular night she was going to tackle the jewelry box that her mom had given her on her fourteenth birthday. She hadn't looked at it in years. She didn't have much in the way of good jewelry and any jewelry that she did wear lived on her dresser top with all the other stuff. She opened it to find more rubber bracelets. They would have to go with the cache she had in the archives at work. She found the charm bracelet that had come with the box. Fourteen years of age gave the impression of starting to mature and that is why the bracelet had been given. Her mom wanted her little girl to be just that, a girl, but Kensi lived with her dad and they did "boy" things. The bracelet got put in a pile to keep. There were tickets to movies and concerts that a teenage girl would enjoy; those were put in the discard pile. Most of what she found in the box went in the discard pile.

Towards the bottom she found something she'd forgotten about. She'd buried it in the bottom of the box because she'd been angry with her dad. He'd died, and she'd found the wrapped gift on his desk. When she found it, she opened it and then put it in a place where she'd never see it again. With tears rolling down her cheek she pulled from the jewelry box a round silver locket with hearts etched on it. On the back her father had it engraved with just one word…"Love." She didn't remember lying on the bed and sobbing but woke later with the locket clutched in her hand, a jewelry box tipped over on the end of the bed and eyes that had cried out.

She rose from the bed and went to her desk to find the letter that Deeks had left for her but sitting in the middle of the desk was a mason jar filled with beach sand and a single shell. No one had to tell her who it was from. The same person brought her donuts every other day and wrote love messages to leave with those donuts. He'd even broken into her computer with "Good Morning Beautiful" more than once. She admired the sand and shell and moved them under the lamp with the picture of him that she'd framed. The letter held the small picture of Deeks and she now knew where that picture belonged. She'd have to cut it to size but she had scissors and the will to do it.

 **A Month Later:**

It had been a month since Mitchell Long had become her partner. They had a smooth partnership and Mitch had wanted to take her out for a drink but she said no. If it had been a group thing she'd have gone and been a good partner, but it wasn't.

Work had been tough. There had been a couple of trafficking ops that they had been asked to work on with the FBI she'd hoped that it was the same one Deeks worked on but it wasn't. Some terrorist group tried to get on the Queen Mary again and hurt innocent people, but they stopped it. She remembered about two years ago, being there as Callen's girlfriend and all the while not taking her eyes off of Deeks. Hetty had dressed him in a nice blue suit and did he look good. She missed him terribly but here's the catch, he'd been in her apartment to leave gifts and notes and he'd been in the mission so often to drop off more gifts and donuts that it never really seemed like he was gone. This morning sitting in the middle of her desk was a basket of beach stones. She recognized them from the beach where she and he surfed most Saturday mornings. She hadn't been surfing since he left. When he returned they'd go surfing again.

All of a sudden she realized she didn't know where the time had gone. Deeks had been gone six weeks so far. How had she got to this point and not realized it? What had she done to alleviate his absence? She did miss him, especially the warmth of him, but having Monty with her helped. Her friends helped as well. They kept her occupied and even she had found ways to keep her mind busy. She'd just have to continue with her life the way it was, until he returned home.

The next week was a grueling case. It took most of the week to find the killer of four marines just outside of Pendleton. There was an ISIS portion to the case that made their deaths tricky for the State Department and the situation needed Hetty's expertise in the politics department. When they returned to the office and had finished most of their paper work Hetty sent them on their way. All four members of the team hustled out the door before she changed her mind. They all went to Casey's around the corner from the mission. It was a usual cop hangout, but not their usual. Hetty had a picture of her and Deeks sitting there with a pile of paperwork in front of them. Kensi often wondered what the two of them were up to on that day. Joe the bartender had taken it for her; another mystery in both Deek's and Hetty's life. She was sure that one of them would tell her about it someday. At least she hoped so.

Each member of the team had one drink and then the urge to see family called them. Kensi who usually left first, stayed with Mitch to keep him company since he had no family in Los Angeles. His 'clan' as he called them were all back in Michigan. He seemed to be a good man, and one that she could come to trust someday. When his drink had been drained she picked up and slid off the bench to leave.

Mitch grabbed her arm and motioned for her to stop. She could see confusion and anger in his eyes. "Why have I never felt warm fuzzies from this team? What does it take to get inside? I want to be a member, to feel part of it and even though I've been here six weeks I still feel like an outsider."

Kensi took her time answering because she didn't want to seem bitchy. "You do realize that this is only temporary? Deeks will be back soon."

Mitch was tired of waiting for a chance with the team and his response came back a little snappish. "What if the liaison guy never comes back?" He noticed Kensi's hackles go up. "Did I say something wrong?"

Kensi tried to keep the ice out of her voice but her eyes narrowed and Long saw the fire in her eyes and felt the heat of her anger as she spit out her reply. "His name is Marty Deeks and he'll be back. He promised me he would and I believe him. He's my partner and he wouldn't leave me." She turned to leave but rounded on Long with a sneer on her face. "Oh and as far as the warm fuzzies go, they're highly over-rated." She turned her back on Long and left the bar.

All the way home she felt the inner turmoil of 'what if." What if Deeks got hurt on the mission? What if he died? What if it went on so long that Hetty had no choice but to replace him? There were no answers that could placate her. In her frustration she thought that there had to be another closet or cabinet to clean tonight.

When she parked her car she sat and tried to compose herself. The ride had been angst ridden and she couldn't shake it. She decided to go inside and cuddle Monty for a little while and maybe do something like make more sauce. She got out of the car and headed up the path to her apartment. She could swear that she'd seen movement in there. She slowed down and reached for her Sig Sauer.

When she reached her door it was unlocked. She held her Sig at the ready and entered the apartment. To her surprise the shower was running. She hadn't seen any cars out front that looked familiar except her neighbors. She quietly cleared the living room and the kitchen before heading to the bedroom. Something else struck her as odd. Why wasn't Monty barking and where on Earth was he? The shower continued and she heard a voice that she knew. It drew a smile to her face.

Since she knew her intruder she holstered her pistol and locked it away. She decided to dazzle him with her newly acquired culinary talents. She took a container of sauce out of the fridge and emptied it into a pot and placed it on the stove to warm. She took a large pot and started water to boil. While the water and the sauce warmed she started cutting vegetables for a salad.

The shower stopped and in a few minutes her visitor ambled out of the bedroom surprised to find her home and of all places, the kitchen. One of his small smiles escaped but he couldn't let the moment pass. "So Kensalina, what are you doing in the kitchen? Is it safe in there with that knife flying all about cutting everything like that? Will whatever you're making be safe to eat? All the time he is baiting her he smiled and looked lovingly at her.

Kensi adored the look he gave her but needed to needle him back, just a bit, so with an evil grin she motioned for him to join her. "Why don't you come in and see?"

Deeks came in and stood at the end of the counter. It did surprise him to see her cooking. He had to admit the sauce smelled delicious. "So where is my girlfriend, what did you do with her?" He smiled the entire time he teased her and she smiled back. "So Princess, when did you learn to cook and who taught you? I just want to thank them."

His Princess snickered but took a second to stir the sauce and put the pasta in the pot. "I learned to cook a week after you left. Nell has been working with me. She has the patience of a saint. Would you set the table for me and get two glasses for the beer?"

He nodded and went for the dinnerware. When he opened the cabinet he rocked back on his heels. "Ah…Kens, I think you've been robbed. There's actually dishes and glassware in here. I noticed the bathroom closet seemed rather empty as well."

Kensi wasn't about to let him ride her for her new found neatness. "Yeah I have to get some new towels. I seem to have lost a few. In the process I found an extra room and a vacuum. It has been an enlightening two months. Pasta's ready can you take the salad to the table? Oh, grab the cheese for the pasta and salad dressing as you go past the fridge. I'll get the beers and come back for the pasta."

When they sat at the table Deeks couldn't contain himself. "So Kens about the cooking…are you a one meal girl or can you do other things too? I don't mind pasta but steak is good, as is bacon and eggs, pancakes and French toast. I'm just wondering out loud here."

"I am still learning. I'll leave the pancakes to you, but I can do French toast, bacon and eggs, Beef Stroganoff and meatloaf. I am still practicing on chicken and I prefer Mexican food from The Brave Bull and I will always love Yummy Yummy Heart Attack from our place." She hoped that the list impressed him. I have also went through most of my apartment and cleaned out a lot, I repeat, a lot, of stuff. I have turned over a new leaf on cleanliness. I'll give you the tour later. Now dig in before it gets cold."

Deeks took a forkful of pasta and was pleasantly surprised. "Nell taught you this? I will make sure I thank her, possibly with roses, maybe even a dozen. This is delicious." He hesitated and thought about the changes before continuing his questions. "What possessed you to do this?"

Kensi had to think about her answer before giving it. "Coming home that first night with Monty compared to coming home to an empty house. You'd given me that picture of you that's framed and on my desk. I went to look for the box of frames in that closet and couldn't find them. There were boxes of good memories and bad in that closet and I realized it needed to be cleaned out along with all the old painful parts of my life. I had the time to do just that. I brought out trash bags and dumped those bad memories. I only left room for the good parts of my life, the 'me' I've made of myself. So when you open that door be prepared for good." She met Marty's eyes with almost a challenge. "It's the same with all the closets in this house. The spare room is just that now. I need some furniture to put in there. You won't find a pile of junk just sitting anywhere in this apartment. Any item I didn't need or want has been tossed or donated to make room for us, you and me."

After dinner Deeks volunteered to clean up. While he did he thought of what Kensi had said earlier and smiled because it meant she'd taken what he'd written in the letter to heart. She may have not known it at the time but it was exactly what she'd done. Her heart had made the decision for her. Having put all the dishes away he ambled back into the living room.

As Marty looked around Kensi's apartment he noticed a collage of photos hanging on the wall behind her. He hadn't noticed it earlier when he arrived. He crossed the room to examine them. He recognized the pictures as ones that Kensi had taken over the years. They started with a picture of Jason Wyler. That had been a persona that he wore undercover and when he'd met Kensi. There had been an attraction on her part. He'd been involved with his partner Jess Traynor while he was under as Dale John Sully for a trafficking case. Jess had died and it cut him up pretty bad. After that case he spent time mourning Jess. He even took time off from being a cop. Then Hetty cornered him for NCIS.

The next picture was when he and Kensi went undercover as a married couple trying to track a Russian sleeper cell. It had opened his eyes as to what a life with Kensi might really be like. He never looked back after that, just to Kensi.

He scanned the pictures and remembered the different ops such as the one he called The Raccoon OP. That particular one made him think about how dangerous being in a relationship with your partner could be; not just as a tool to use against you but how far you'd go to protect them and yourself from legal fallout. It made him pull back on pursuing the relationship, but not for long.

There were a few more that made impressions on him but the one that almost broke his heart was one taken with Thapa. Thapa was a Ghurka from India who came over to work for his country. He became a good friend to both Kensi and himself. Unfortunately, he died the following year protecting Sam from rogue Ghurkas. That had been a hard loss for him.

He crossed to the couch and noticed the television. It was Friday night, why wasn't it on?

Kensi sat at her desk going through her mail. Neat piles of envelopes and junk mail sat side by side. When she finished she tossed all the extraneous materials in the trash bin by her feet. The idea of this new Kensi baffled him in a way. He thought for sure he was in for the Friday night America's Top Model but no. "Kens, ATP is on…aren't… we… watching?"

Kensi laughed at that. "Aren't you the one who always teased me about that? I'll have you know that I haven't watched it in weeks and that the last time I watched Titanic was with you. What do you make of that?"

He sat on the couch and just looked across the room at the woman he loved. "Why Kens, why make all the changes? What made you do all this? Don't get me wrong I think it's fantastic if it is what you really want. If you did it for me, you didn't have to. I loved you just the way you were."

Kensi just shook her head and let out a small laugh. "I thought about that as I cleaned and sorted. I didn't do it because of you, per se, but because it was time to. It was time for me to grow, to become an adult in all senses of the word. I became someone who takes pride in herself and all she owns. My car is clean too. Callen actually rode with me and commented that he didn't smell dirty laundry anymore: smartass that he can be." She stood up at the desk and walked across to where Deeks sat on the couch. She sat next to him and held his hand. "I needed the time to do this and probably wouldn't have with you around to depend on, not that I'm blaming you, but you tended to baby me, I've had the time to grow. I learned that I can ask for help and no one will think less of me. Nell told me three years ago that she'd teach me to cook but my pride wouldn't let me take those lessons. I learned that I can look at my past and accept who I was, I can accept who I am now and I can plan who I want to be in the future." She leaned in to kiss Deeks and he kissed her back. "I could have pounced on you in the shower but I thought you needed to see me for who I've become first. I love you Martin John Deeks. In the letter you said you wanted to talk about the future, well now I'm ready to. What did you have in mind?"

The detective sat back and couldn't stop smiling. He reached over to play with her hair thinking about the woman he'd left behind. The woman who's idea of a relationship was staying at each other's apartment, and taking care of Monty if he needed it. He hoped she meant all of together, such as children. He wanted kids and he knew that she hadn't been sure of that. "Kensi, if it means the whole kit and caboodle, marriage, children and the house with the picket fence, then how does forever sound? I think we're ready to take that step."

Kensi slid from next to him to astride his lap. She touched his forehead with her own and looked deep into his soul. "Is that a proposal Shaggy? Cause if it is, the answer is yes." As she bent down to kiss him the locket fell out of her shirt, bouncing off of his chest.

Marty grabbed the locket and looked into her eyes and smiled one of his devilish grins. "And what might this be? I don't remember you ever wearing it before."

Kensi pulled it back from him. All of a sudden it seemed to be… extra. She had him with her. Did she really need the locket too? "It is a locket that my father planned to give me before he died. I found it recently in the bottom of a jewelry box that my mom gave me. I'd buried it there when he died, out of anger and I found it again during one my cleaning jags. I put that small picture you gave me in it and then you could be kept close to my heart, where you should be. I can stop wearing it now that your home, if you want me to, that is."

Deeks shook his head and brought her in for another kiss. "If there is one person on the planet I don't mind sharing you with, it's your dad. I want you to wear it to remember him and to keep me close. You never have to take it off. I'd like you to add another piece of jewelry if you don't mind." He reached into his pocket and took out a little blue box. "If you don't care for it we can choose something else, but this one spoke your name so I bought it." He presented his lady the box.

Kensi opened it slowly; not because she was nervous but because she wanted to savor the moment. Inside was a yellow gold setting with two peridots on either side of a heart shaped diamond. It wasn't too big or showy. It was perfect. She said absolutely nothing but the look in her eyes spoke volumes to Marty.

He saw in her eyes how happy she was not only with the ring but with the whole situation. She leaned in for a kiss and handed the box back to Deeks. He looked up at her questioning the movement. "Don't you like it? You don't want it? What?"

Kensi pulled back from him and gave a good laugh. "No, geez Deeks, put it on me. That's how it's done."

Deeks placed the ring on her finger and felt joy but he knew there was still one thing to talk about. He let the newness of the ring settle in for Kensi. She'd look to him and then to the ring. He realized the intense pleasure he felt and sensed her joy as well but there was a tempering of joy for her.

They held each other for a few minutes and Kensi haltingly broached the subject. "Do you have to go back under tonight?"

Deeks smiled at the question. "No this case is finished. We got them after all this time and it's a solid case. I think your question though is for the future, isn't it?"

Kensi nodded. She never wanted him to go under again without her. She wanted to watch his back and make sure he was safe. "No it wasn't. I want to be your back up. I want to be there with you."

Deeks shook his head. "No matter how we do this, those days will be behind us. If I stay with the LAPD, Bates can call me back whenever he needs to. If I become an agent like Hetty has so desperately wanted, she'll separate us. I think she's already tried it out once and I can honestly see her reasoning for it. I trust both G and Sam but I, too, would like to have your back. No Kensi, I'm home for good. I've already talked to Lieutenant Bates and he knows how I feel. I just need to talk to Hetty and find out my options." He placed a small kiss on her temple and followed it with others down to her neck. He whispered to her. "Now….about having your back…."


End file.
